As some of you may know already, I'm a little touched in the head. haha. So here's more evidence.A young man who lives on my street has a crush on me and has asked me out a few time. I always politely decline, probably because he's a CoughNiceGuyCough. Ya'll know that not my type, but moving along.
I drive around the corner onto my street and I'm felling blessed because there is a parking spot waiting for me. I throw my car in reverse to parallel parking, then I notice a raggedy ass Jeep stopped behind me. I do my best fake smile "I'm parking, move you ish" and this woman is just grilling me. And it hits me, this chick is really trying to steal my parking spot while I'm in mid maneuver. WTF.
Just in time neighbor boy shows up, and says, "is this woman giving you a hard time? I got this." Neighbor boy approaches the crazy lady, speaks to hear for 3 seconds and I'm thinking "his ass can't handle ish." So I get out the car to scream on this woman. And you know what he does? HE yells at ME, telling me to get back in the car and park. So before I got back in the car, I looked his ass up-and-down and realized how cute his ass was. Bwhahaha. Pray for me ya'll. Men yelling at me should NOT be a turn on. Why Lawd? Why?
So I kept my spot and now I'm feeling neighbor boy. I love testosterone. (Like Fat Kids love cake). I love a man to not scared to step up and handle his business.
* * * * *
Remember I told you about my co-worker. The one that walks around me in circles (or half circles if I'm seated). Thankfully he stopped doing that, and decided to let me breathe. Well anyway I'm down to my last pair of blue contact lenses (yeah and what?) so I popped in a set of clear ones. I never would have thought this small alteration in my apperance would be such a big deal.
Long story short (I wish he would have given ME the condensed version) he spent 30 minutes trying to convince me that I was insecure, in denial and really didn't like who I'm as as a person. In my best I'm-at-work-so-won't-cuss-you-the-eff-out voice, I let him know my choice to wear colored contacts is not that serious. Some woman wear make-up, wigs whatever and he would never come at them that way, so leave me alone with splash of color. Especially since he was sweating my ass hard when he thought it was natural. Once he realized that I suffering from low self-esteem like he hoped, homeboy tells me I'm conceited. I laughed, rolled my eyes and changed the subject.
Somewhere in the new conversation I forgot that he was a complete jackass, and when he asked me to take him part way home I said ok. I'm mad but glad that I did. On the ride he called me shallow, insecure, a know-it-all, and AGAIN conceited ....but then you know what this negro asked me? Why won't I go on a date with him???? !!!!!! Oh, I had to break it down. NOW he's trying to convince me that he's not a jerk. This went on for 20 minutes. Then he asked me to put the A/C on because he was sweating. It's like 50 degrees outside LOL. Next 20 minutes I stoped listening, so I don't know what he said, but I did ask him to get out my car. He then stayed running his mouth for ANOTHER 20 MINUTES!!!! 60 minutes total.
It's about to get real ackward at the work place.
5 comments:
BWHAHAHAHAH is this dude some kind of stupid?? he thought that he was gonna get somewhere by .... wait for it.... Being a rude jackass to you???
Ok that's a new dating technique that must be sweeping the nation and shit (which reminds me I'm supposed to be updating this doggone blog)
And I say Give neighbor boy a chance, you never know if he'll be agreeable to do some hair pulling
While I can see why both guys are trying to get at you(Lips are truely my weakness), but if ole boi from the job is still trying and I remember him from awhile back he needs to give up the ghost cause dripping desperation is not attractive or the business, and the neighbor dude if you like guys yelling at you I love it.
Damn S-DUB... you should go out on a date w/ dude!! us nice guys ain't all that nice you know!! lol We know how to handle the handle... but then again i'm not really nice i just play a nice guy... I'm a jerk and i know it and love it.
1. New Yorkers are the worst with trying to jack parking spots.
2. You are hilarious.
3. Stop giving neighborhood boy a hard time.
You made me LOL, girl. You KNOW I'm going to tell you give NB a chance... love is free, right? But it's hard to come by and you find it in the unlikeliest of places. Go for it. And pray for me while you're at it :).
BWAHAHAHA on co-worker. But no, trying to belittle your self-esteem for a date is NOT a new dating technique... that one has been around a while. What a joker!!!! Avoid that dude like the plague...
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