Saturday, January 27, 2007

Drunk Illiterate Neighbors

Let me tell you why my neighbours ain't shit. One of my neighbours is an drunk, not an alcoholic, but a drunk. So she goes out, gets pissy drunk, and comes home doing to pee-pee. She has to pee so bad that she can't focus on opening the front door to our building. So imagine a drunk woman in her 5o's, trying to put her key in a lock while stumbling and doing the pee-pee dance. Despite how many times she has done this act, she has not master it. What I mean is her drunk ass breaks her key in the front door lock on a regular basis. UGGGHHH!!!

Now, for everyone else to get into the building, tape is put over the part of the lock that fits into the door frame (I hope you know what I mean.) Another one of my stupid neighbors keeps removing the tape, and a sign was put up asking them to stop. This is the sign:

Do not Remove Tape Lock Do Not Wourk.

Since when is W-O-R-K spelled W-O-U-R-K??!! Where f**k did the U come from!!!!


Ok, I'm obsessive about the News. Like I need to be aware of whats going on in the world. So one morning last week I hear on the news that someone named Francisco Torres was arrested after escaping the law for over 30 years. I immediately start laugh because my friend has the same name. My plan was to call him, and harass him like "hahaha, you got arrested!!!" (yes, I'm 12yrs old.)

Anyway he calls me first, and guess what?....

IT'S HIS DAD!!!!! I had no idea what to say. I felt soooo bad. I still do. All I can do is go into extra-super-friend mode.

Here's the basics. If this weren't happening to someone I knew personally this would be an interesting news story, but..... Francisco Torres was involved in the Black Liberation Party during the 60's and 70's. Allegedly the group were on a cop killing campaign over this time period. After 35 years, DNA evidence linked Torres and seven others to the killing of a California police officer.
Full Story

Saturday, January 13, 2007

I haven't posted anything in a lOOOng time. I would lie and say I've been busy but truthfully I think my brain took a vacation and didn't bother to tell me. (This happens more often then you might think.) So for the sake of blogger decency, I will share a random moment from my life.

Last week end it was freakishly warm in NYC. It was 70 degrees in January, so me being me I put on my favorite black flip flops and went shopping. The goal was to find a cute tote bag to carry my work supplies (magazines, nail files, radio - you get the idea.) I make in down to Canal Street. As I'm searching to my dream bag I walk into this bizzare conversation....

African Man: Hey sexy. You want a free purse?
Me: I pause I look time up and down.
African Man: Ok sexy, you want to go out for dinner?
Me: I roll my eyes.
African Man: Hey at least you'll get a free purse out of it.
Me: sighs and walks away.

And the worse part is I didn't even find a new tote.